"Catch & Release"

As I was writing my last post about the book I just read " Same Kind of Different As Me"....I continued typing in that post but decided to make it a separate post......so I cut it out of the inital post and started this one.....this book was NOT on grieving the loss of a child but there was a pharse in the book that made me think about friendships in my own life and the way things change when life changes.....Maybe there is someone out there reading this that needs to know you are not walking the journey of grief alone.....sometimes there are people around you that you do not even know are wearing the same shoes and walking right beside you traveling the same road as you are.

One of the things Denver said in the book "Same Kind of Different As Me" really made me think.....he told Ron how he had heard some people "Catch & Release" when they fish......and he told him that if that was the kind of friendship he wanted that he did not want to be friends with him. That if he said he was his friend, he was his friend forever! How often do we "Catch & Release" our friends. I know that through all that we have been through in the past 2 1/2 (+) years so many of the dynamics of friendships have changed. There are several friendships that have not changed though..except for the fact our friendship has grown stronger....I realize those are not "Catch & Release" Friendships. We have also made new friends along this journey......people that would have probably never been placed in our lives had it not been for Kate's death..so I consider those friendships that God intended for us to have....and thank God for those friendships....the friends that have been where I am and understand this pain in my heart...and feel as though they will be life long friendships...and I pray those friendships continue to grow stronger and stronger as time goes by......God knows what we need...... Last night at the Early Angels Dessert I was just listening as some of the ladies shared the struggles they have faced through their loss/losses. One was talking about how the dynamics of friendships had changed....how they had gotten to the point of having to go out and make new friends.....I can so empathize with those ladies....knowing that at a time in life when you can barley even remember to get out of bed (and at times if someone did not make you, you would stay there forever) others are wondering why you are not doing what they want you to do.......why you are not giving 100% of yourself.....it is impossible when you are experiencing the grief that someone experiences after the loss of a child. I can tell you that the sadness one feels will never totally go away, and you may wonder how I can say that only being a little over 2 1/2 years down the road.....I am still sad Kate is not here and as I talk with others that are further down the road they will tell you that it never goes completely away.....those of us who have lost a child will forever be wearing the shoes of someone who has a baby or babies in heaven.
There are several scriptures that have become dear to me through my journey of grief.....scriptures that I still cling to and always will.....one of those scriptures would be

Jeremiah 29: 11-13.

(11)For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (12)Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. (13)You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. (14)I will be found by you," declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity.

So often I think we read verse 11 & 12 For I know the plans I have for you......and then anytime we have trials in our lives we pray for God's help.....
but what about verse 13...."You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart"......WOW.......how often we seek God during the bad times but when times turn back around and are good are we still seeking him.....my prayer is to seek him everyday...and verse 14 says I will be found by you...When we seek God with ALL of our hearts HE is going to help us in whatever way HE has planned...one thing we always have to remember, which is not an easy thing is HE has the blueprint of our life in front of Him, we do not..we just have to have faith and trust in God that it is all part of His plan.......the lyrics to a song written by Zach Neese that we sing at church go like this.....

The more I seek You
The more I find You
The more I find You
The more I love You
I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breathe
Feel Your heartbeat
This love is so deep
It’s more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
It’s overwhelming

Lord, please let me seek you with all of my heart both in the good times and the bad time, when we are happy and when we are sad, when we are sick and when we are healthy, when we don't know what tomorrow holds and what we will do tomorrow and when we can't wait for tommorrow to arrive. Lord I pray that everyday I seek you with everything within me. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.